The power of words

It seems as though my monthly newsletters are turning into reviews of the latest books that I've read…so here’s another one. 

As our business grows, we come up against an increasing amount of instances where extreme patience and customer service skills are required. In an effort to improve my communication skills, I recently picked up the book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie.

I was afraid that this book would be about manipulating people, and while in a way I suppose that it is, but it’s more about communicating with people in a way that is effective for your particular audience. There were a few chapters that had me rethinking how I communicate with my kids. There are times that you want something from your children (or from other people) that would equally benefit you and them. But when you make your request incorrectly, all your audience hears is that you want something and that they are going to have to do something. Mr. Carnegie gives examples of how to communicate in a way that makes your audience understand the benefit to them.

Dealing with customer issues is an area where we all could use some help. Let’s face it, 9 times out of 10, the customer is wrong…sort of. They feel that you were supposed to do something that did not get done or that you were responsible for something over which you have no control. For example, you were supposed to show up at their event at 10:00, but there was a traffic incident and you were delayed. All the hostess really cares about is that you were late and messed up her carefully made plans. Rather than blaming the traffic and getting self-righteous about it, you could claim responsibility and say or do what would make her feel better. We have a tendency to be “right fighters” (thanks Dr. Phil) and we only care about proving that we were right, although usually, being happy is better than being right.

Perhaps you were supposed to be paid for your services upon arrival at an event, but the hostess conveniently “can’t find” her checkbook and will pay you later…so as per your contract, you say you can’t start until you get paid. So now the customer thinks you’re a big jerk, even though it was she who was neglecting the terms of your contract. Rather than saying, “The contract, which you signed, states that I am not to begin work until I am paid,” perhaps you could make her understand the benefit to her. Try saying, “We always collect the payment before getting started so you don’t have to worry about abandoning your guests later on to deal with it.” You’re explaining that it’s for her benefit, not particularly your benefit, and she will think that you’re being considerate rather than untrusting.

The majority of the time customer problems stem from a perceived error. Somewhere there was a communication breakdown where they expected one thing and you expected another. If you seem to be having a similar problem with several customers, perhaps you are not effectively communicating with your customers. Look over your contract, and determine if the wording is easy to understand for someone who is not in our industry. Have some friends look it over as well. Practice your phone dialogue with a friend until you’re positive that all of the pertinent information is being given by phone as well as in writing. Follow up a day or two before the event with a friendly phone call or an email to verify what you expect and what the customer expects.

Another thing that I really liked about this book is that it discusses getting to know people and getting them to like you, simply by being a good listener. We naturally want people to listen to us, but forget to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes. We want to be around people who make us feel good about ourselves. Showing that you are interested in someone’s life is a great way to make someone feel important and appreciated. And that feeling will make them want to be around you more, which is how you get people to hire you and re-hire you. In this book, you’ll also learn the difference between compliments and appreciation.

Most of us are aware of the power of words…how a single phrase from someone else can make our day great or make us want to crawl back into bed. By learning to communicate effectively, we can make people see our point of view, while still allowing them to feel like winners.